.

Eleven

2008-09-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, you are eleven now, Happy birthday Maya!
love, Dad

You Are Beautiful

2007-09-22T01:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you.
For being there.
For helping me,
For being who you are

To me.

Thank you.
For cooking,
For doing laundry,
For cleaning,
For washing the dishes.

For me.

Thank you.

For taking care of me,
For understanding me,
For driving me to the hospital,
For encouraging me.

For us.

Thank you for having hope.
For waiting patiently,
For bearing with daily life,
For being so bright!

For our future.

Thank you for saying yes,
To being my wife and friend.
For everything you do-
For US.

You are beautiful, outside and in.
I’ve loved you since we wed six years ago.
And always will.

Happy Ever After

2007-09-13T00:26:00.000-07:00

I remember when you liked playing with the camera and would say "hands dad” so that I would take a picture of our hands to see who had bigger hands, you insisted on having me take a few pictures of just our hands together. That was memorable. I remember our long walks in the forest and you got tired and stopped as we walked ahead of you. I could not help but walk back and pick you up and carry you along the way. The donkey ride by the beach was a special occasion. We had Ice cream at an old 50’s dinner. You loved it. I remember the time we went to see an old castle nearby and our photo was going to be taken and you said: “Sit down” so we could be sitting by each other, it made me feel warm inside knowing that you cared.

I remember the bike rides I took with you on the back seat holding on around my tummy, you were chuckling all the way. I remember we had some fun adventures in that old city and you didn’t want to carry on so I pretended to go on without you and you grinned ear to ear and waved goodbye knowing I would not leave. I remember you running towards me with open arms and giving me I tight hug as I sat calling you to come over to me. I remember standing in front of the tower and holding you in my arms while you laughed so hard as we bounced around on the lawn.

I remember the early evening when we were playing in the back yard and I faked being so tired that I couldn’t walk anymore, you tugged on my hand and I played along making you think you were the one who was actually moving me. I’d pretend that your hand would slip out of my grip and fall back as you would hurry to try keeping me standing. You laughed and laughed, we were so happy together. And then the day before I left as we walked around the farm you kept saying “your pocket” as I was wearing a thick coat with large pockets. This was an indication that you had something to give me and you wanted them in my pocket.

I remember when I was walking towards my exit gate I found the little stones you had put in my pocket the day before, I smiled as I touched them while warming my hands. You probably forgot all these little tidbits of your youth by now. After all, it has been eight years. You are growing up fast and learning about life the way you would have wanted it. You like to draw as do I and are moody at times. You don’t eat much and are picky with your food, it’s ok, I was just like that.

I remember, you were born today and will always be my darling daughter. Happy Birthday my dear Maya and live happy ever after.

This Used To Be My Playground

2007-08-20T00:09:00.001-07:00

Just some sort of blog movement but the truth is that I had this song playing in my head most of the time I was there. Anyway, Gigi gave her take on it and this is mine.

This used to be my playground
This used to be my childhood dream
This used to be the place I ran to
Whenever I was in need
Of a friend
Why did it have to end
And why do they always say

Don't look back
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don't hold on to the past
Well that's too much to ask

Live and learn
Well the years they flew
And we never knew
We were foolish then
We would never tire
And that little fire
Is still alive in me
It will never go away
Can't say goodbye to yesterday

Madonna 1995

Tatak Orig (The Original Brand)

2007-06-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

Tatak Orig is returning. He will be there from June 12 to July 17th
The great grand child of the pesky old rooster
will still crow at the dawn's early light as surely as the santol will hit the roof.....
reminding him that little has ever changed.

After many tearful goodbyes
The smell of the museum by the sea will always be
in his blood.
The traffic,
Old haunts long forgotten,
dreams--frozen in time like a block of ice from Mejia's.
His old rickety bed had waited long enough for his return.
As the two fruit trees stand guard awaiting his return,
the old familiar streets bear the same cracks of years gone by.

Eager hellos await him, wondering, questioning...
Happy that he has his shield of gold supporting him and giving him strength.

Life has again come full circle.
He knows that he cannot move forward unless he steps back.

Gaia

2007-06-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

Wish you could Hear

2007-06-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

I got tagged by my sister Chesca so here is my response.

A Daughter's Portrait

2007-05-30T13:14:00.001-07:00

Portrait of an Artist's Daughter
10.5" x 13"

© 2003 Jude Silva

Flowers for My Wife

2007-05-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

Last week we suffered the miscarriage of our first child.
The loss of the fetus is a danger many pregnant women face but miscarriage is not a subject easily discussed.
The human dimensions of the loss is difficult to discuss when we can not begin to recognize and understand the magnitude of our silent sorrow.
The emotional pain she has and is going through is unmistakable.
I share this with her.
The unfulfilled promise of life remains a question we can not answer.

A Loss for Words

2007-04-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

My brother's birthday is today, and sadly, my mind is still composing a long blog about Yosemite. My wife saw my problem and decided to write something to help.Happy Birthday, pare.

Ansel Adams in Concert

2007-04-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

The night before, Steve was over and we all had a nice birthday-eve dinner and a movie. This also came with LOTS to drink so even before the movie was over I was snoring on the couch. The next morning 8 April Sunday, my first utterance was “Happy Birthday Honey”. My next task was to get out of bed. Umm well it was a major task. The feeling of parched muscles and bone joints plus the splitting headache did not do me well. A dehydrated body can be a major downer to start you wife’s birthday. But get up I did, re-hydrating with lots of water and then she reminded me that our friends Geoff and Allyson were making Birthday breakfast for her that morning (Just five more minutes) in my mind was all I was thinking at that point. And that we were leaving right after breakfast for Yosemite National Park for a three day rendezvous with nature. So we hastily left packing a few things and were off for breakfast.The breakfast was nice under the warm sun, it was home made waffles, bacon, sausage, OJ, with home made bosenberry jam. We also were there to borrow a bike rack to attach on our car. Yes, we were bringing along our mountain bikes. The thought of it made me shudder. First, I haven’t biked in a VERY long time and second, the thought of 2 bikes dangling on this contraption strapped on the back of your car while going 80 MPH gave me imaginary visuals of them falling off and hitting the car behind us thus causing a major pileup on the freeway and us having to go to jail for accidental manslaughter just wasn’t my idea of a nice leisurely drive up the mountains. We left and went back home to grab our few belongings, cameras, bikes and long underwear. And we were off.Me being the wimp that I am asked her to take the wheel since I was still nursing my hangover. I nervously kept and eye out from the passenger side view mirror every 5 minutes or after hearing the interval thudding of those strapped bikes on the boot of the car till we reached our first destination four hours later. Aunt Kris (Gigi’s Dad’s sister) and Uncle Larry’s place. They live “as the crow flies” 50 miles away from the south east tail of the Sierras. Meaning their back yard has a breathtaking view of the place we were motoring to the next day. We arrived to find the place empty but Gigi recalled that earlier the week prior, her aunt said they would be away that day but would leave the key in a hanging basket on a tree in front of the house. Well, what tree? There were many trees and many hanging baskets or objects that could have been a hiding place for the key to the front door. She eventually found it and we welcomed ourselves in. Heading straight for the bathroom. You know how that goes. They (Aunt and Uncle) finally arrived an hour later and right away made us very welcome, offering refreshments (read: beer and wine), Humus spread and cheese and crackers while awaiting the sunset on their back deck with a nice warm fire to boot. When it got too cold (they live about 5,000 feet above sea level) we ushered ourselves in while Kris made dinner of baked ham, bread and risotto. More wine was set on the table (one of the was even a reserved wine) meaning it was a special occasion. Kris also made lemon squares with 3 candles on then and presented Gigi with a Gift basket. A very nice gesture. They also showed us our sleeping quarters, which is an in-law section of their house. It looked very quaint with lots or real antiques, I liked that. We slept well that night.The next day 9 April, we were up at 6 am to set out by 8 am. Breakfast was sliced apples and some toast and OJ. Aunt Kris and Uncle Larry were to come with us into the valley, which was 2 hours away by car though 50 miles if you could be a bird. The trip had a lot of anticipation of the sights that were to be seen although the trip in itself was very scenic. Climbing up higher to 6,000 feet then descending on to the valley floor was nice enough. As we entered a tunnel blasted through the granite rock we emerged at “Inspiration Point” --- And inspiring it was! A scene straight out of the movies. You had to stop and take it in. The majestic view of “El Capitan” and the Yosemite Valley with all the redwoods and giant sequoias down bellow were truly worth the nervous twitch I had developed during the drive. Uncle Larry expertly explained the different mountains and waterfalls and their locations, the trails that you could hike and the crazy feats that some people have done on those giant rocks. For those that who don't know, Uncle Larry and Aunt Kris met in Yosemite and both worked there when they were younger, they lived in the park for 5 years before moving upland and settling down and having their son. So they knew a lot about the area. Before we reached the entrance to the valley floor we turned towards the Mariposa Grove were the famed Giant Sequoias were located, you know, where they carved out a tree so cars could drive through its trunk. Well, that tree fell in the early 70’s but they carved out another one but this time for pedestrian use only. The pictures do not do justice to the enormous size of these living giants. They are the oldest LIVING things on earth. Try 1,000 BC or 3,000 years old. That would make a believer in God of anyone who thinks they are invincible. Can you imagine what these trees have seen in their lifetime, or what they have been through? Makes you wonder why they are still here when everything else seems so temporary. After huffing up and down the footpath to see them we were ready to move on. From there we motored on to the valley floor itself to grab a quick lunch within the Yosemite village. A roast beef sandwich and a beer would do it for me bought from Degnan’s Deli, which started operations in 1890’s. Around the time John Muir was lobbying the government to set aside Yosemite as a natural preserve. In fact Ansel Adams joined the Sierra club at age 17 which was founded by John Muir. Now that's a different story, either look it up in your local library or Google it and you may educate yourself. It was now 2:00pm and Aunt Kris and Larry were ready to head home. So we bid our goodbye's and saw them off. We decided that it was time to check in at the Yosemite Lodge that we had reserved a week earlier. When we got there, which was only about 5 minutes away from where we parted ways with her Aunt and Uncle, we were dumbfounded to find out that the "Wawona" room that we thought we had booked was actually a different hotel! An hour uphill called the Wawona Hotel. Gigi was a bit devastated about the situation. Realizing that we would NOT wake up to the sound of the Yosemite Falls and the ease of biking around the various breathtaking views was quite a damper. So are the woe's of booking online. Nevertheless we machoed ourselves to leave the place and drove back up the mountain for an hour to find the Wawona Hotel. It was actually not bad, being historic and all that. Built around the 1870's to accomodate the coach (stagecoach) drivers and passengers. But before that, to lighten our "spirits" we went to the village store and stocked up on liquids that would ease our dissapointment. We arrived and checked in and realized it was all not that bad. Between drowning our sorrows we had a very nice dinner at their banquet hall dining on Flat iron steak and chicken marsala. While waiting for our table we had some cocktails in a section of the lobby. I had my ususal "Dutch Piss" a.k.a. Heineken beer and Gigi had a Gin and Tonic and we sat there listening to this middle aged man brailing his way on the piano. He played old ragtime music "nothing younger than the 30's" --he said but played a great rendition of the theme from "The Sting". We both agreed that this was his secret masterpeice being that he played it enthusiastically and pretended he didn't know it that well. It was a nice placid yet casual place you could just hang out--part of the lobby. And in between his tapping of the ivories he would break out and engage the small crowd that had started gathering while waiting for thier names to be called for dinner. At this point he blurted out that Ansel Adams was a great Concert Pianist and was on his way to becoming one-- if not for that other hobby he had (taking pictures). We both looked at each other and said, hey, I didn't know that. Imagine if he did not persue his interest in Photography and went on to be a concert pianist. Hence the title Ansel Adams in Concert. My take on it is that his pictures were silent concerts that when you saw them they played music in your eyes.The night was cold so we called it a day by around 10 pm. The next morning 10 April, we slept in till about 9:30 am with the knowledge that complimentary breakfast was being served till 10:30 in the morning. We got up and dressed and went down to the banquet hall to put our names in and sat waiting to be called and escorted to our table. We had a hearty meal of corned beef hash, scrambled eggs, pancakes, fresh watermelon and cantaloupe plus the old faithful OJ. We then decided to visit the Pioneer Yosemite History Center, which is a collection of historic buildings associated with the people, and events that shaped the national park idea in Yosemite. It was only a walk away from the Wawona Hotel. After seeing the place and imagining how it was back then we went back to the hotel to collect our bikes and went on a 4-mile bike along a path in the meadows nearby. It was a nice ride sometimes a bit of an incline for me but the views were serene and peaceful. The crackling of pine needles under your bike wheels wisps of wind and the chirping of birds is all you could hear. Not to mention my short of breath panting. It took us about an hour and a half till we ended up near our hotel again. By this time is afternoon and the weather was starting to get cold. So we sat around on the balcony in front of our room just sitting in the sun to keep us warm. With beverages in hand we just sat and thought. We decided that we would stay around the area of the hotel for the rest of the day and plan our adventure for the next day. We went down to the dinner banquet hall again, submitted our names and waited to be called. Again. While waiting we had more cocktails but the wait wasn’t long enough so we took our drinks in with us and had a very nice dinner of seared salmon and veggies. In a place that is visited by so many people from all over the world you could not help but over hear the different languages and accents of the other guests during our dinner. After the heavy meal we went to our room and I decided to take a nap. (It was only about 7:30 pm and there I was all bundled up under the sheets and blanket and duvet). Two hours later I woke up with the sounds of chatting outside our window, which by the way the curtains were parted so anyone who passed by could actually see me. So this chatting I heard was Gigi and another woman with her 10-year-old son on holiday too. They (Kathy and her son Shawn) were from San Diego and were nice next room neighbors. She brought out a bottle of red wine and he brought out a game of monopoly. Still being in bed but awake by now I decided to get up and join them. They were having fun and the boy was really into his game. The mom and Gigi were starting to get really cold and tired at this point and so the game ended and back to bed it was for all of us. It was about 10:30 pm by then. The next morning, our final day in Yosemite, while we were having breakfast I started hearing big raindrops. Yes it started to rain. We decided that this would not stop us from driving back down the valley to enjoy the sights that we were to be leaving that day. By the time we reached our destination, it was raining hard. We still got out of the car to have a close up view of Yosemite falls. Wet and cold we took some pictures and headed back to the car. While walking the rain broke and got a bit of sun. This made a perfect time to shoot some amazing pictures of the mist covered granite rocks and surrounding scenery. Then we went to the famed Ahwahnee hotel (a $500/night place) surely not in our budget but nice to see. Its grand wooden pillars and Native American inspired décor made an interesting place to see and take some photos. From there we decided it was time to go home. So with bikes re-checked that the straps would hold we headed up the mountain again and took the road back to San Francisco. By this time the rain had turned to hail and then to snow. Yes SNOW! This made a very interesting drive. Our car temperature gauge read the outside temp as 32 degrees. We stopped and took more photos of the bizarre weather change. We drove on and reached a town about 3 hours away from home to stop for lunch. It was 62 degrees in that town. I had a huge steak (too large that I had to brown bag my leftovers) and Gigi had some Chili Rellenos. From there we would not stop and we reached home by 5:00pm Wednesday 11 April. After quickly unpacking and resting I started downloading pictures and video footage I took and so did Gigi (from her own camera). So as you see it was more of a Photo-shoot-adventure than anything else yet it was memorable. So in closing I will leave you with this image, hope you enjoyed the experience as we did.

Click HERE for a multimedia image essay.

FRIDAYS' ART

2007-03-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

Free All People.

Free Therapy

2007-03-11T22:24:00.001-07:00

Intuition - Live at the Rock Garden

2007-03-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

Keep on rockin' in the fifth world!

Lounge Member No. 9-1063

2007-02-24T16:14:00.000-08:00

______________________________________________________
YELLOW FEATHER
______________________________________________________

When we were young and life was innocent
we spent a lot of time with drums and cheer.
Guitars, cigarettes and lots of beer
It was how we lived and dreamed.

Life was just beginning for many who thought
it was just all fun, games and good times.
We all thought that that’s how it should have been
but it was not how it should have seemed.

Now we are older and we care to know
how things turned out between the scenes.
Why we were meant to meet again as time goes on,
and we venture on, friends lost and found again.

Many times you ask how it came to be,
that this life is linked all the same.
With family and friends that were long lost
and now are forever welded strong.

It is a fine feeling that now we are
the people we are supposed to be.
No distance can keep it apart, now that we met
again as friends from the past.

Why you ask that it be of importance,
that you are there again for someone who cares.
He is my brother a close one at that
that never knew that we were friends.

When we were young and life was innocent.

Click here to see more.

Deadline Not or Knot?

2007-02-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

There are times when you are feeling under pressure to write about anything and you come up with something like this in your mind's eye.

Nine Valentine’s Days Apart

2007-02-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

It cannot be a coincidence. How often does it happen that two of your siblings in a family of nine were born on the same day? That one of them is second to the eldest and one is second to the youngest? That both were born on the second week of the second month of the year-Valentine’s Day? And that the last two digits of the years of their birth are interchangeable? It must have been fate, that both struck out at an early age to pursue a life that was quite out of the norm. Both had quite the guts to stand unwavering on their life decisions, and both are quite successful in spite of the obstacles they had to hurdle. So on this day, we would like to greet you both happy “Birthtine’s”.

Logo Study No.1

2007-02-10T16:49:00.000-08:00

It has come to his attention that there are some bloggers out there that have started making logos for their blogspots. Here is a study that he has been tinkering with, though not final, he decided to blast it out there for the viewing public. Polite critique is always welcome.

A Decade After

2007-02-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

As the day broke it seemed a bit different from the usual daily grind that occurred. His normal grogginess was snapped short by the realization of his impending departure. He sat on his bed just staring at a half empty box of items and personal effects that he would be taking along on his journey. He realized that he has less than 24 hours to go before leaving his birthland. Many things were distracting his concentration to make judgments on what to take and what to leave behind. A week prior, he had already sealed 3 boxes and marked them. Two of the boxes had a note taped on with a message saying: “may be disposed of” and the last one said, “I want to see this again.”

He often had to stop due to the swirl of thoughts popping in and out in his mind. He was bringing life into this world and how would it turn out? What will happen to his life? Where was he going? What would he do? How would he break the news to his parents? And on the other hand what and whom was he leaving behind? Was it the right thing to do? He was nervous but excited in an uncanny way. Now he took a swig of beer that was beginning to warm up from the tropical heat. He took a long drag from the cigarette burning in the ashtray beside his bed and continued on with the task at hand.

It was late afternoon by now and a queue of visitors start flowing in to bid their last goodbyes. Family members and friends, one by one they came and at times as one was leaving the next would arrive. It was quite a bizarre scene and in the back of his mind the box was still half empty. Later in the evening a whole pack of former colleagues arrived bringing spirits and laughter. They decided to throw him a last minute going away party. Arrrrgh! Just what he needed. So into the night they stayed and exchanged stories of about who he was and what he did. They reminded him of many people and events that he affected. More beer was being passed around; more stories were being told. It was now 7 hours before take off, he had to go back and forth to his room and his guests so he could seal the box. They finally had to call it a night at 3:00 am…by this time inebriated and tired. The last items were thrown in though not full, the box was sealed.

He caught an hour of restless sleep in time to take his last shower and bid his niece and nephews a last goodbye. His brother and 2 friends rushed on the still dark highway toward the airport. It was 5 am. Last farewells were said, and he was on his own. A few hours later it was time. He got on the aircraft with a heavy heart. His window seat had a view of the tarmac, as the engines were fired his hands got cold. The thrust of take off was quick; soon he felt the wheels of the plane become airborne. Now his heart sank as he watched his city get smaller by the minute and as soon as they broke through the clouds it was all gone. It was just the beginning. He left ten years ago today.

Is the box now full?

Steve Manning

2007-02-06T01:21:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Dr. Manning. We really enjoy our little secret conversations about life and love. Here is to wishing you happiness and success in the coming years ahead for the two of us. Love your brother Peyton.

ER Episode1

2007-02-03T12:46:00.000-08:00

Thursday Feb 1: Jake had a nice evening dinner with Gianna and his best friend/man Fenny. Gianna called it a night at around 9:00 pm due to medication side effects for her phlegm-induced clogged lungs. Jake stayed up and had a lengthy discussion with Fenny about his upcoming travel to the motherland and Fenny’s situation regarding his own future back “home”. Fenny then notices that the night was calling so bid goodbye. Time: 10:30 pm. Jake went to bed at 11:00pm. The night was still.

Friday Feb. 2: 2:30 am. He wakes from an excruciating pain in and around his solar plexus, he crumples and convulses in pain. 3:30 am. After praying to God to make the pain go away he finally decides to wake Gianna up and tell her what is happening. She assesses the situation and asks him some questions. Jake is in so much pain by now and says she needs to call the Doctor. So Gianna calls and the doctor asks what the symptoms are, she explains and after a few words exchanged she passes the phone on to Jake. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?” “Uh, between 7 to 8, I can’t really talk it hurts so much” then passes the phone back to Gianna. A few more words exchanged and Jake hears “in 10 minutes”. So Gianna gets dressed and tells him “I’ll get the car around and go up and get you.” Jake does not wait, he dresses up and waits by the window and sees the car arriving downstairs. He grabs his keys and gets going still clutching his abdomen. 28 steps down and into the car. Time: 4:30 am. Kaiser Permanente Hospital, Redwood City, Ca. EMERGENCY ROOM.

Time: 4:45 am. Admitted -BP 139/90. More waiting, then again, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?” “Between 7 to 8!” Lead into a hospital bed and asked to undress. He is separated by a curtain with a woman in the next bed groaning in pain. RN #1: Same questions and explains that they will have to do “tests” on him. RN #2 smiling says this won’t hurt. A few minutes later, 4 vials are filled with his blood, a plastic catheter is in his arm, red “dot” stickers are attached to his chest and connected to an EKG meter, and a finger up his pwet. A doctor now enters but the pain makes him deaf to the words. Asked to drink a “GI cocktail” of Lidocaine and Mylanta, the drink made his tongue and throat numb, but the pain remains. Again “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?” “Between 7 to 8!” Another option: morphine. A small shot later, he sees little dots with tails resembling sperm on a Petri dish and then a weird facial tingle all the way up to the roots of his hair. Then ahhhh…he feels the pain going away. Again, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?” “Beshweewn 2 to 3.” His eyes are rolling and his speech is slurred. Soon, he is asked to pee in a cup otherwise a plastic tube will be used. In a panic, he finds urine. Time: 7:45 am.

Drugged and confused, he hears codes and dinging as two ambulances arrive. However, time passes quickly and an orderly is there to pick him up for an ultrasound. 8:30 am. A woman rubs a cream and device all over his abdomen for a photo shoot. 8:40 am Sitting in a metal wheelchair waiting to be taken back to ER. 9:00 am. Thirsty and still waiting. Pwet is sore. 9:30 am Finally in new bed and waiting for doctor. 10:00 New doctor arrives and says Jake has “gastritis” and gives him information on heartburn. Jake knows he does not have heartburn. 10:30 am. Picks up heartburn and pain killer medicine at pharmacy. 11:00 am. Back home. 12 noon. Passes out and wonders what happened.

Jackson Pollock

2007-01-19T15:56:00.000-08:00

How did he do it?
Check out http://jacksonpollock.org/

Thanks Leah Bay.

Patriarch

2007-01-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

Blink and before you know it, 52 years has passed.
Note to self: must reach 52 years old.

Happy Birthday Pare!

Twiddling My Brain

2007-01-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Spatial Intelligence

You've got a good sense of space and how the world around you looks.
You can close your eyes and "see" images. You have innate artistic talent.
An eye for color and shapes, you're also a natural designer.
Since you think in pictures, visual aids and demonstrations help you learn best.

You would make a good navigator, sculptor, visual artist, inventor, architect, interior designer, or engineer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Back to Normal?

2007-01-08T23:25:00.000-08:00

So he went back to "work" today and what did he expect?

A Welcomed Distraction

2007-01-01T19:13:00.000-08:00

We met when you where still a round ball in your mom’s tummy. The August of 1983, it was quite a nice feeling that you would come into our lives. As you know, in Manila, it rains a lot. Your mom accidentally was poked by an umbrella on her tummy and she was worried sick that something might have happened to you. As it turned out everything was ok. When you were born you were quite a famous little “townie” in Pittsford, NY. Everyone wanted to meet and greet you. The next time we met, you were 13 months old and I was writing my thesis. You were always a welcome break from the grueling demands of my final semester of schooling at the University of Santo Tomas. In fact, you are a dedication in the thesis book that was published and kept in the library of that university. The next time we met you were seven years old. You enjoyed playing in the rain and swimming at a friend’s pool, and then time just flew on by, hearing little bits here and there of how you were. The next meeting we had was in February of 1997 when I moved here to (North America). You were in your own growing pains by then, so it was your younger brother who entertained me, but it was understandable. In 2000, you flew to see me and Jakob Dylan at the Bridge School Concert. In 2001, you traveled to Virginia to see me marry and even carried the rose petals. Then years went by and the next thing I knew you traveled to Pennsylvania to attend Pitt. Auntie Chesca explains it right, “blink and before you know it 23 years has passed”. So on this day we (Auntie Gigi and I) wish you a great new year and several more great years. We hope to hear more of your travels and that we meet more often.

The Year That Was

2006-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

He started out really Grumpy, about many things and events. He continued to pursue the "closure" he needed to move on. He GOT his closure, and did move on. He got back to his real JOB, and gave his all to it. He took 2 weeks off to take a breather, and went back to the craziness. Oh, he then started a "BLOG"...about anything and everything. Just "trying hard to try harder to keep on trying." So he got his "pen" and started writing....ooohhhh writing? With his very poor spelling he got a bombardmant of criticism but accepted every morsel of it. He "flagellated" himself for it, but just continued on. It was a new modern way of communicating with siblings and friends, but not really...it was all about himself. He was known as a "Historical Fiction Writer", a "Confessioner of a Chain Smoker", "A Museum's Man", "Rain" and "Fifth World". He (they) had guests, MANY guests. Some stayed for a while some just passed through, but he appreciated every second of it. This year was good to him...it made him appreciate what he had, what his life is, and what the future holds for him. So, in closing this year he would like to THANK the people that helped him be what he is today. ...You know who you are!!!! "Good night and good luck."

Stuffed yet?

2006-12-25T14:20:00.000-08:00

Check out what he got for Christmas!

Happy Crismuz?

2006-12-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

And what has he done?

The New Addition to the Remodel

2006-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

His sister Chesca was born close to the time they moved into their newly remodeled house, which made that Christmas even more special. He held her two little hands while she walked from the glowing Sacred Heart to the swinging kitchen door. He doesn’t think she remembers this, but he taught her how to walk.

When he and his brothers picked teams for softball, his team, Blue Socks—literally, he designed the uniforms with blue striped socks—did not include her, which made her very jealous. "Gnilims-peek" was a club including Chesca, Karen, Peggy, Peter and himself that included “Masonic” dark meetings on tires within the helpers’ quarters.

In his quest to achieve architectural greatness, he constructed a tree house that would withstand even the strongest of typhoons. One of the perks to the “tree-top hotel” was a tire swing. For only 25 centavos, anyone could be a member. However, even though she failed to pay, he was the only one to run out when little Chesca fell from this tire swing.

He remembers Chesca using her unending talent for art and craft by borrowing his poster paints to color her hair for a Cyndi Lauper party. She was the hit of the high school party without the use of the more expensive “spray on” color. During this time of their lives, he antagonized her with the demonstration a Coca-cola swap. But of course, this isn’t about him.

Memories are hazy for the next several years (decades). One of the main memories he retains was how her beauty and spunk tortured many men-with-delusions-of-grandeur to be the possible boyfriend. He recollects an expensive racing bicycle being thrown down the pebble wash steps out of one of these rejections. Many BOYS shed tears for her.

When he arrived to the States, Chesca was already here to help. His first memory of her in the States was her DRIVING a SUV from Cleveland to Pittsburgh (“Don’t talk to me!”). Realize, he had never seen her drive before and her stress was apparent. She is known as the great unifier within the family. Even if he did not ask for help, she knew he needed it. Her daughter, Kika, at a very young age, always knew when to call in her sweet young voice (“Hello, Uncle Teddy”) when his heart was breaking from his own child lost. Even today, her kids are his treasure.

So on her 40th birthday, he would like to thank her for her being her in spite of...

p.s. It is 11:00 pm PST which is December 3rd EST...

Winter Rains are Here!

2006-11-26T16:54:00.000-08:00

A beer run means putting on the boots, the coat, the slicker and...is that pajama bottoms? How do you fit your wallet in there? Oh yeah, you may forget!

4 comments for: Mediatus

2006-11-25T18:55:00.000-08:00

No. 4 If not for you....We thank you....Bow.
P.S. Forget the the grocery carts...you look fantabolous!

The marvels of technology!

2006-11-25T18:50:00.000-08:00

No. 3 Join Us????

Uuuuuyyyy!

2006-11-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

No. 2 ONE LIFE!

comments!

2006-11-25T18:33:00.000-08:00

No.1

DESIRED!

Numb Yourself

2006-11-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

Numb yourself to avoid it rather than nourish yourself to face it. But alas, ahhh, short-term memory loss kicks in.

Dictated Fate

2006-11-07T15:24:00.000-08:00

YES, get out and VOTE.....hahahaha!

KIKA!

2006-11-05T21:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Math teacher!

Love always,
Uncle Teddy and Auntie Gigi

P.S. Hope Chuck-E- Cheeze was fun for you.
And WOW you are 8 years old?

22 years and 9 days after

2006-11-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

He left when he was 15, assimilated, got the whole American pie. In 1997, 22 years since we saw each other he sent me a ticket we met again. We were different people, as time does to you. He had his baggage and so did I (I said "I"). Eventually we got to know each other again, his friends, my friends, his family , my family. He was colonized but now he is more of the true ethnic person that he is. We like him. He is my best friend and my bestman! And to think we are only 9 days apart. Coinki-dinky?

Happy Birthday Teban!

Photo: by Jude September 16, 2006

All Souls Day?

2006-11-01T16:57:00.000-08:00

On this day we commemorate all those who have passed on to a better or worse life. it is not BIG here where we are but somehow reflecting one's own life makes him wonder where the next one will be. Will they be stepping on his body six feet under? Will he be in a Jar in the livingroom? Will he be.....sanctified?...wonder.....

367 Days after

2006-10-26T00:39:00.000-07:00

In 1988 he left the cuckoo's nest as the wizard of Oz. He struggled for a year or two, found away and stuggled to survive. 5 years later he had to come home just to reaffirm himself of his life decision. He eventually settled in made a family, bought a house and oooo that Starion with the extra teurbow boost, he was loving life. But as we all know as time goes on things change.
He had many trials and tribulations. The last time I saw him was 5 years ago, as things were really about to change for the both of us. But all is well now, he has a great relationship with family and friends, two adorable kids "paadon?" He taught me to play the guitar, he IS the guitar man! So on this day we continue to celebrate the Oktoberfest!

Happy Birthday my Friend and Brother

Photo: September 21, 2001 Richmond, Virginia

Also on this Day

2006-10-24T01:56:00.000-07:00

The so called "United Nations" was established....Ask yourself , IS IT ? Just ironic, don't ya think?

Photo: Delegates to the founding conference of the United Nations in San Francisco, October 24, 1945

In lieu of Blogs

2006-10-23T16:00:00.000-07:00

Please send checks payable to The Fifth World Foundation Inc. (a-for-profit corporation). Acceptable other suggestions: Gift cards, Western Union bank to bank transfers, unused flying miles, untorn jeans, 1 year supply of Heineken beer, U-Bolt differential part-preferably OEM but accepting a rebuilt one for a 1986 Mercedes Benz 190 E 2.3 123 body style. Washer and Dryer (preferably with installation included). Planned visits from the Midwesterners to Eastenders, even the FOB's (overseas).
Hair dye (please no red tints), Feregamo suit (used), Stradivarius violin restoration, 1 set of Gut strings for a Guild guitar, and last but not the least... A cure for IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)...Please check off what you have picked so other guests will know what have already been chosen. He is registered at Goodwill, Target, K-Mart, Sears, Autoban Mercedes Benz, and in your right back pocket or Paris Hilton purses. FYI - All gifts are non refundable!...unless you are the little drummer boyl.

Mr. Jack Lord

2006-10-19T15:54:00.000-07:00

Mr. Carding and Mr. Misho did some work in the past few weeks. Their work is superb, and is highly recommended. See for your selves and compare! By-the-way, That really is my Dad, while he is away in the land down under, we will be away for a few days "Jetting" off to Atlanta, Georgia, tonight, arriving at 6:00am tomorrow, Tee-off time with the brothers at the Atlanta Country Club at 9:00am, rehearsal dinner at 6:00 pm , bachelor's party after that, who knows till when. Next day 3:00 pm Church wedding, 7:00pm reception at the said country club. Get back to hotel and try to sleep. Next day leave for SF at 9:00 am, arrive at SF 12:00 noon then proceed to the Bridge School Concert at 2:00 pm. Whew! AND to think WE are the official photographers, we must be nuts!

Seventeen

2006-10-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

Thanks for teaching me that eating yellow snow is bad! Happy Birthday Man!

Photo, Circa: June, 1991

A Jumpstart

2006-10-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

He woke up and did his rituals, checked mail, blogs, then got dressed. Walked over to the local grocer for his daily vitamin water. Crossed the road and got on to his horse. It giddy-upped but started making a chity-chity-bang-bang sound. He tried hard to ignore it, but as he went on to gallop ahead, a few miles onto his jail, his horse started to buck, so he slowed it down to a trot. He then continued on his journey but it’s started bucking wildly this time, he actually had to get off it and check its horseshoes. Hmmmm, they seemed ok, so on he went again. Now that white steed just didn’t want to go any further without bucking and neighing wildly so he decided to turn back. Slowly walking it back to its stable. While walking back to his cabin he had to pony express a message to his masters that his horse is sick while suffering a blustery wind and a palpitating heartbeat.
They said it was Okay. He may have to put down his faithful white steed in the near future. Hopefully not. His equestrian vet may have some answers. How is that for Jumpstarts? And to think today is Friday the thirteenth!

"When you believe in things you don't understand then you suffer, Superstition aint the way" by: S. Wonder

Good Read

2006-10-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

This was not meant to be anything. He just thought of certain conditions his close associates were experiencing. He is not the expert on this, in spite of his “handflick”. He deals with that issue in a way that they all do, some response, no response, or---BAD response. It’s all how we can cope. Some have an easer time than others. Some are medicated. Some are just free. Some study. A lot write! And that’s the best part, in spite of all the DNA that we as being “one” of them, we all try hard to cope. In spite of our shortcomings. “It’s the real thing…Cope-a-Cola”…..

The Funny Farm

2006-10-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

It was his seventeenth year of life when he was exposed to the “real world”. He had to leave the oligarchy academy to go on with his education. It took him 45 minutes by bus to get there. It was strange for him to all this. He daydreamed as he rode those flying coffins. Looking at the cars that drove by, he felt a bit envious…. he said one day, he’ll get a red pick up truck with white rims on them and anchor down his motocross bike on to its flatbed. Of course he was still daydreaming. Eventually he became accustomed to the place, infact he felt a bit superior, one teacher even asked him what he was doing in that farm. She said he didn’t belong there and that he should go back to that oligarchy school. He was once caught whispering the answer to a question that his teacher asked to the class, and was aptly reprimanded for making his classmates sound smarter than he was. But that was when he could remember. Thinking back he actually appreciated getting out of that Olig. Academy to really know what his country was about. It helped him be very flexibe as to whoever he was relating to, whether it be a subordinate, co-employee, peon or a first lady of a country. That’s why he is the way he is. Till today!

Here and Now

2006-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

He used to wake up from the sound of a motorized pedicab, the crow of a rooster, the sound of falling fruit against their corrugated galvanized iron long span above or the long ear-shattering revving of the neighbors fuel trucks starting their day or just the dime sized raindrops against the said corrugated galvanized iron, (which by-the-way makes you sleepier). Now it’s the sound of the train at 5:30 am, the humming bristles of the motorized street sweeper, the inconsiderate jack hammering (hey I’m awake and doing my job so who cares), or the wailing sound of the fire brigade, to save some old woman’s kitty cat and that dammed Westminster chime of the clock tower at the train station. He doesn’t miss the noise; in fact it is home for him, just in a different perspective. An example happened a while ago but made him think, is this where my taxes go? You be the judge.

P.S. this was to save a neon sign that had a dead pigeon shorting its circuit, It itook 6 fire trucks and a whole road to be closed plus another 6 police cars to put the smoke out. Which BTW, was less than making ihaw pork ribs! Go figure.

Find-Raiser

2006-10-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on the suffocating pressure of smiling...

Happy?

2006-10-05T01:06:00.000-07:00

Happy you write
Happy you wouldn't shut up
Happy you have been in touch
Happy you haven’t gone away

Happy you never left
Happy you could be there
Happy you stayed behind
Happy he could see you

Happy you could let go
Happy you held on too
Happy you were not wrong
Happy you had to hurt him

Happy you ignored him
Happy you bugged him
Happy you forgot
Happy we were Mr. and Mrs.

Happy you’re being happy
on your Birthday

Happy Birthday!

NOTHING

2006-10-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

One Day

2006-10-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

One day,
He’s going to sit down
and write a letter
to all the good folks he’s known,
and to try and thank them all,
for the great times together.
Though so apart they’ve grown.

One day, he’s going to write a letter
to all the good friends he’s known, one day,
and it will be a long one.

He’s going to thank,
that guitar player
and all those tough guys
who said he was a weakling.
He tried to burn bridges
and he knew he let some good things go.

One day,
He’s going to write a letter
to all the enemies he’s known-
one day, and it won't be a long one.

From that place
all the way to Yorkshire,
from New York,
to his home.
His family and friends are scattered,
like leaves from an old Santol.
Some are weak, some are strong.

One day.

Adapted From NY, CGI by: Jude

The Sphinx

2006-09-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

It started a long long time ago, when he could remember. The music wasn’t the way it used to play…. That was digression. Back to yesterday, there were times in your life when you were advised on a position…ok now we are talking about one of the three “S’s. He was told not to prone himself while doing “that”. But he also remembers when pipelines where so clogged that he had to do “that” on a Milo can that was lined with a brown paper bag. He remembered the mark it left on his behind. Roy Rogers became his partner. His doctor visualized what the procedure would take. The position, rubber banding…enough detail already! PLEASE.
So each morning he just sings…. Hurt... hurt…love the man who loves you, love the man who cares…..

CGI photo by: Jude

Fifth’s Fifth

2006-09-22T00:16:00.000-07:00

It was the eleventh moon before the millennium
Their eyes met at the picture store
She, like a star, brought a twinkle in his eye
He smiled at her.

She,
gazed and looked away
was full of charisma
She captivated him.

They ventured out, testing the waters
She needed a space
He offered a lifeline
she accepted, perhaps as a means of survival?

They discussed their situation, ethics and all
So he made her an offer
She did not refuse
The news flew
Rich mound went mad.

It was the eleventh day after the eleventh
People flocked from near and far
It was a blast.
He was overwhelmed, it was just the beginning.

She is unraveling him slowly
Through thick and thin
Roofing sickness and cocooning
She endures selflessly

She is teaching him so much
- to be real
- to be humble
- to live

the pendulum swings
but conversation is healing
She is beautiful in body
She is beautiful in mind

He loves her no end
his worship lives on, even as she dreams
he is not worthy
His heart has awaked to a love unending.

The Mah-Boo-High Lounge

2006-09-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

It all started 5 years ago when they moved into the building at alphabet-soup street. It was sparse, clean and their new nest. It was empty, and yet…full of promise.
They had NOTHING, yet as time passed so did acquisitions.
Soon, people started to take note of their proximity to that landing strip. It was a nice space but a tad small. They celebrated their first Christmas by building a balsa model single-prop plane together.
Hmmm…sounds nice so far.
SUDDENLY, a new space opened up just down the hall.
Ah, an easy move—just roll everything down the hall, which was not much. And so they found their “new” crib. Bigger, better located, and more spacious.
Then things really started happening. First there was one then two then three, then ad infinitum of behind resters. Some even exploded upon impact. There were too many parties to remember: food, garden lounge, beer, wine, lumpia, oil explosions, and music. But the most honoring events were when the guests realized they were welcome to stay over whether it was for a night or two or even a week.
Beyond the small space, a train escorted their guests to the city above (sometimes with or without a tour guide), the campus below, and the cake shop between.
In one case, the Bay Area fog phenomenon almost brought on cannibalistic behavior.
The place is not just a “3-S” stop, it is now a museum. They feel honored (and always will be) to have guests include them in their travels.

Father and Daughter

2006-09-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

If you leap awake
In the mirror of a bad dream
And for a fraction of a second
You can't remember where you are
Just open your window
And follow your memory upstream
To the meadow in the mountain
Where we counted every falling star

I believe the light that shines on you
Will shine on you forever
And though I can't guarantee
There's nothing scary hiding under your bed
I’m gonna stand guard
Like a postcard of a Golden Retriever
And never leave till I leave you
With a sweet dream in your head

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you

Trust your intuition
It's just like going fishing
You cast your line
And hope you'll get a bite
But you don't need to waste your time
Worrying about the market place
Try to help the human race
Struggling to survive its harshest night

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you

Happy Birthday Maya, Love Dad

By: Paul Simon

Intertropical Convergence Zone

2006-09-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

The storm is here, He deals with it.
He takes a big dry swallowing gulp.
He is ok. Or is he?
He has made it a point to be,
comfortably numb.

Move on you weakling!
What do you really know?
You can't write,
you can't spell.
You are LAZY!

You claim to be ok,
but you are not.
You are sick, in your head and body.
You pretend too much.

He should be honest,
he is a liar,
A copier,
He should take care of himself,
before he tries to take care of others.

He is SICK!

Do You Realize?

2006-09-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize

By: The Flaming Lips, thanks, Charles!

Just pray.

2006-09-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

When he was young, there were many difficulties that they went through.
Often, when these difficulties (or should he say, problems) occured, he was told to "just pray".
He often recalls those Sunday mornings or Saturday evenings when he just sat there watching the "ritual".
He wondered why all the "S" sounds where more audible than the other words spoken by the crowd.
So, he thought that praying was mumbling or garbling but enunciating the "S' sound more audibly.

It didn't work!

Last Farewell

2006-09-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Josephine,

I am sorry for not being around when you needed me. I thought I explained why I needed to leave for the United States when you became pregnant, but now I realize you didn’t understand. I realize now we have many cultural differences—in the ways we express ourselves, our limitations in travel, our views of the world, and how we support our loved ones.

I know I pursued extreme avenues to find out how Sparrow is and for her to find out who I am, but hopefully, she and you will find out my goals were sincere. I don’t feel I abandoned Sparrow because my life for the last nine years has revolved around her. I moved to the United States (leaving a prominent job and secure life in the Philippines) in attempt to reach you in time for Sparrow’s birth. If I had stayed in the Philippines, I would not have been able to emigrate at all. I never came to America to be an “American”. I came to here as a stepping-stone to reach you and what I thought would be our “new life.” I worked hard to make money (mopping floors at 4 in the morning and working at a low paying job in the afternoon) to show the immigration office that I had enough money to return, even though my goal was not to return. I felt it was my responsibility to make the money for the trip to England and get there on time, which I know I was late (due to the number of visa denials I received). I know you didn’t feel I cared about you while you were pregnant, but I worked this way and humbled myself (with menial jobs) because I was very excited about our new family, even if I could not express this in letters. Even though I left in December 1997 from England, I still hoped we could be together, which you made clear would not happen when I returned in 1999. That trip in 1999 caused me great debt and other travel complications, which resulted in no further trips after 1999. Contrary to what you might think, I support myself here in America with limited resources from a teaching position. Also, a Filipino passport kept me limited in where I could go. If I could have, I would have taken more trips to England. I find it unfortunate that you perceived all the events since 1997 in the way you expressed yourself in your last letter to the solicitor. I feel you have (or had) a misconception on how and why people travel from other countries. I stay in America to pay off my debt, but this has not been an easy nine years, as my Filipino nationalism does not mix well with the American lifestyle. I don’t seek the American dream which conflicts with what I really want: to go home.

In lieu of pursuing legal avenues, which will cost me money to courts and solicitors, I want to save the money for Sparrow. I will not challenge the way you and Sparrow are living…I will believe she is happy and healthy, which is the most important thing. I will make you aware, as well as Sparrow in another letter, that I am setting aside money for her, which she can access when she needs to. The burden I put on Robino, Margareta and yourself was an unfortunate miscommunication. I understand your concern for Sparrow, to be possibly unhappy by my sudden appearance in her life, so I will wait to not jeopardize her happiness. However, I do want to emphasize that while I am not there, I do think about her and love her to no end. Sparrow is now getting to the age where she will ask and pursue her questions about who she is. I hope she knows that she is and will always be half-Filipino. Please don’t hinder her quest for answers. If needed, I now have a United States passport (1st world), which allows me to travel to other 1st world countries easier, including England.

I have looked up what you have being doing these last few years, and I am proud of you for what you have accomplished with your textiles. I am happy you have been successful with your craft. You have moved on and so have I. I know you know that I have gotten married. My wife and I will eventually move to the Philippines so I can truly help the poor in the world, using the skills I gained here in the States working with disabled children.

Many times I wished our relationship could have been longer in the Philippines so that we understood each other better. I wish I had told you what I felt then and how I have been feeling these last few years about our situation and Sparrow. Again, we never had a strong relationship.

I would like you (and Sparrow) to know that she has many cousins around the world who know about her, and would like to meet her at some time. She has cousins here in America, in Australia, and in the Philippines. As for the here and now, I continue to hope that Sparrow is happy and not exposed to the materialism of the “unreal” world.

I do not expect a response from you, as this is my last correspondence to explain myself to you. I will continue to write to Sparrow and send gifts on her birthday and at Christmas. If she does not receive them now, then I hope you will hold on to them for her in the future. I have not said anything negative about you, and I hope you do the same towards me. I hope if Sparrow does ask about me, you try to explain the difficulties of traveling, as an immigrant and that I do love her very much.

Please extend my apologies to Robino and Margareta. I never wanted other people to care for Sparrow in my place, nor put the burden on you solely as the parent. I really wanted to be there, but I guess everything happens for a reason.

Wishing you the best always,

Tadeo Mercado

For Jose Rizal

2006-09-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

Photo by: Jude, taken at Knott's Berry Farm L.A. December 2005

Aide pour affligg'ee

2006-09-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

Aid to the distressed! Ah fall is just around the corner; he smells it in the air, its cooler outside, he lowers the windows to block those harsh biting cold winds of the night. As Hurricane season starts back around and typhoon season at full swing, volcanic eruptions, mudslides, extreme weather patterns et. al. He wonders what the next big tragedy will be. Tragedies, man made or just nature has its way of balancing out the way people react. Many of these events are now predictable and can be well prepared for in advance. Stocking up on batteries, bottled water, canned goods, cleaning the gutters, layering of clothes. Bringing an umbrella, it really all depends on where you are. Many people and minds will mobilize to “help” those who are distressed. It is also the time of year when he has to start his own preparations for the change of weather in his own mind. The typhoon is coming in a fortnight. He has to prepare, set his sights on overcoming it. He has experimented in earlier years how to overcome it. Some of them successful many were not. Despite the plethora of issues he had dealt with throughout the year, he still has to contemplate his next moves. Typhoon “sparrow" is coming and there is no way to avoid it. So hold on tight or it just may blow him away. Again!

Photo by: Jude, taken on the plane leaving that big freeway looking for it's city. L.A. December 2005

Cocoon

2006-09-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

When he was young, he used to watch those fat green caterpillars moving slowly along the adobe fence, near the tall fruit tree in the side garden. He was curious to watch how slowly they moved and how fat they would get.
On an occasion he would even tap them and hold them, but their tiny feet were a bit itchy on the skin. Once he even poked one of them with the spine of a broomstick (used too to clean said garden), black substance started oozing out of its body and it eventually curled up. He always wondered where those green caterpillars went, so he went to investigate. It turned out that they were all heading for that tall fruit tree to spin their web that made up a cocoon. So again out of curiosity, he climbed the tree and plucked one out to find out what they were doing in there. Shaking it, tossing it and eventually cutting it open. What he saw was a strange alien looking stiff creature, that was very dark brown. It had underdeveloped wings, head and torso. Later on he learned that that was the evolution of a moth that eventually would cut its way out and metamorph to become a multi-colored flying accessory to that said garden.
So in human ways, cocooning is a way of hiding until one can come out looking much better than he/she once looked. Examples of human cocooning a.k.a withdrawing from society:
Cover oneself in a thin blanket followed by a thicker one (depending on the outside temperature, leave a small opening so as to allow breathing of fresh air).
Do not eat, do not bathe. Curl up in the fetal position and drink fluids, if possible through a straw.
Only come out for very short times to do your bodily functions.
Keep your hand between your thighs (to keep them warm) wear thin socks, do not answer phone calls, do not agree to ANY kind of invitation to do ANYTHING and just ...think.
Advise to co-cocooners: make it a maximum of three days, or you may never become that necessary accessory to that garden .

Assimilation

2006-08-31T22:27:00.000-07:00

In 1885 a secret plan for our country was hatched. It was a 150-year-old plan. After carefully plotting by the people behind the plan (i.e., as to who will become the hero, who will play the pivotal roles) they moved on and in 10 years they succeeded. He was executed; they made him “The” martyr, and put their people in place. And so it went 10 years of bloodshed between “New Rome “ and the Indians. Payoffs were made, the Rosicrucian’s won. They continued by changing the culture and then swing time was on.
You ask why? Well it was the 150-year old plan. Now we are in “new Rome “ serving the emperor because that’s what the plan was all about! Get all the intellectuals to work for New Rome. They were taught to assimilate. They were taught skills. They were Doctors, military personnel, nurses, and teachers and care providers who all spoke the new Roman language. So he asks now what are you? Assimilated or just a number!

Lift your bench

2006-08-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

-You lived it!
-You went through it
-You suffered
-You were economically discriminated
-You were labeled
-You were famous!
-You achieved many pinnacles
-You have contributed your talents
-You were fooled
-You craved it
-You stood your ground
-You were humbled
-You were disgusted
-You compromised
-You are relatively happy
-You owe it to yourself

But yesterday was different.
Tomorrow will be different.

SO LIFT YOUR BENCH!

Can you fly?

2006-08-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

Spread your wings and touch the sky...
All the memories and all the lies,
Can you see it with your own eyes?
Close them and you can fly!
Oh, the places we go....

The "HANDFLICK"

2006-08-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

It is a means of communication- non verbal but can mean anything.
maybe "same day same sh--!" or nothing new or maybe introversion?
It's used like a masonic sign that the "Fraternity/Sorority" had to know and understand as it was being "Flicked".
Now its a "Grunt" and asked what that meant, a longer grunt becomes more audible.
She understands. It is Fate!

Top of the world

2006-08-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

We're On top of the world and the the only explanation we can find is the love we have found and that's what keeps us on top of the world....

I, Me, Myself

2006-08-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

It is extremely difficult to post blogs without saying these words.
Experiment, and see how many times (actually count) you use the words.
He finds it sort of some kind of self glorification.
Maybe? or is he/she wrong?

Why?

2006-08-10T17:35:00.000-07:00

Because he needed an outlet.
He is burnt.
he is confused.
he needed something.
he shakes his legs too much.
he needs answers.
actually, he doesn't know...